


Wasteland, Baby!

by scoutishere



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Blades, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Found Family, Getting Together, Gun Violence, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Carey/Killian (The Adventure Zone), Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Strangers to Lovers, Zombies, i will add tags as i go!, sexytimes in chapter 3 if ur not into that i would skip, taako feels a lot of feelings about lup and it's sad, uhhh first chapter is pretty angsty but i promise next one will have more gay love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-19 08:09:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoutishere/pseuds/scoutishere
Summary: “And what, you think my family’s alive?” Silence. “Everyone dies, Magnus. Everyone I once knew? Dead. My entire hometown is wiped out. Nobody’s alive - not my family, not my friends, not even my fucking twin sister. I don’t care what you think about me not letting you leave this belfry. You will die if you go.” Magnus’s eyebrows furrow and Taako can tell he’s processing his words. “I’m not a fucking saint. I don’t make friends with people. But I’ll be fucking damned if you jump off this belfry to your death. The world has enough walkers. I’m not letting you add to them.”Taako is a scavenger in post-Zombie apocalypse Faerun, in the wrong place at the wrong time. Magnus loses his family. Taako hasn't had a friend in years, but they may be stuck together.This fic will be updated every other day until its completion.





	1. all the fear and the fire of the end of the world

**Author's Note:**

> Premise/titles based off of "Wasteland, Baby!" by Hozier. Enjoy!!

Taako doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the smell of death. 

Rotting flesh is not something that the nose can just ignore, even when it has been three years, he thinks. He remembers being a teenager and reading somewhere that death is the worst and most distinct smell ever, and not necessarily believing it or noting it. After all, teenage Taako wasn’t going to go into any career that involved being around dead bodies. 

But now, a few years after the end of the world, Taako can’t avoid them. 

He has his twelve-centimeter blade in his left hand and cuts through the walkers easily as he strides forward. In his right hand he holds a compass, helping him keep on track to the community he’s trying to get to. The herd is about a half mile behind him, maybe less, but straggler walkers are all around and it’s all he can do not to panic and try to run to the gates once he sees the large structure of Phandalin Community emerge in the distance. He stops himself because he knows he’d attract even more walker attention if he tried running, and he wouldn’t be able to defend himself as well as he can going slower. 

Above even that, he’s never been a fantastic runner. And even with three years of defense against walkers (solo edition!), he’s not the most athletically capable. 

He sweeps under the legs of a walker and smashes its head in with the heel of his boot, the brains splattering on the sidewalk as he approaches the gate. Phandalin itself isn’t the most notable community he’s ever seen. It’s actually quite small, in Taako’s opinion, but it’s not like he’s going to turn up his nose at shelter, especially when the herd is so close and he’s out of options. Taako doesn’t usually like to stay at communities, either - relying on other people for supplies and such is not his thing. Him being a solo scavenger intimidates people and causes them to not trust him, but he’s not a bad person. He’s decent, and moral - as moral as one can be the way the world is now. 

The Phandalin gates are made out of scrap metal welded together - some hoods of cars, metal doors, the tops of old garbage containers. As aforementioned, it’s kind of shabby, and kind of small. It’s known among people in this area of the Faerun that Phandalin is a settlement of about twenty to fifty people, depending on the season - during the summer, people are much less likely to rely on communities because the weather is tolerable for travel. Also, not only to Taako but to most people, travel is much less dangerous than staying in one place in a community like sitting ducks. But during the harsh winter, not many dare to travel, especially while not in a group. Even Taako, who prefers to be on his own and constantly moving around, knows that during a snowstorm, it’s futile to try to keep moving.

When Taako approaches the front gate of Phandalin, the watchguard, a large, gruff half-elf, peers at him from the top, before shouting down: “There’s about 10 walkers near ya, think you can kill them? We can’t open the gate unless there’s no chance they’ll get in.” Taako’s slightly irritated because he knows that he can slip in the gate without letting any walkers in, but he obliges anyway, knowing that to argue would most likely mean being left outside for the herd to get him. And while it’s the cold and the walkers are moving much slower than they usually do in the warmth, Taako doesn’t think he’d stand a chance in the thick of thousands of zombies, and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to stay and find out. 

So he kills the walkers around him. Like the watchman said, there’s about ten around him. He’s kind of perfected the art of killing walkers silently and quickly, if he does say so himself, and it’s a process made easy by the cold weather, too. The brains of the walker need to be destroyed to truly kill it, so Taako’s method is simply sweeping the walker to the ground and inserting his knife quickly into the face. He does it fast and monotonously. He hasn’t made it this far and this many years by himself for being bad at killing walkers. 

Once he’s done with the nine walkers around him, he wipes the blood from his knife and hands onto his filthy jeans. Then, he approaches the gate entrance, still staring up at the watchman for approval. He gets a nod from the half-elf watchman, and the gate makes a creaky unlocking sound, followed by someone from the inside pushing it forward, making a small gap for Taako to slide into. He does, and feels relieved as the gate locks behind him, a young tiefling woman nodding at him in recognition. He’s not sure of her name. He’s only stayed at the Phandalin community twice and doesn’t really know anyone well enough to consider them anything more than acquaintances, but he nods back, grateful to be in some sort of protection from the herd. 

He’s about to head to the community bar, which is the building he remembers to be the warmest in this facility, when he hears a loud scream from one of the apartment complexes that echoes through the entire commune. It’s loud and human and rocks Taako to his very core. An air of unease falls upon him and his first instinct is to leave the commune just as soon as he got inside, but he also knows that that would be the worst thing to do right now, seeing as how the herd is even closer to the community and will be rattling against the walls in no time. Instead, he follows what seems to be everyone else in the entire commune to go to the scream, joining the crowd as they all try to figure out what had caused such a noise. When Taako sees what has happened, he gasps, and the urge to get out of the commune intensifies. 

Outside the apartment building, there are clotheslines - some as tall as 10 or 15 ft, with accompanying ladders. They were built out of necessity, and all of the citizens of Phandalin can use them. However, there is something different and unsettling about these clotheslines. There’s a small girl, looking to be around thirteen years old, hanging dead from one of the tallest ones. She looks to have hung herself. The worst thing about the picture, though, is that she has turned already - and Taako knows from experience that turning to become a walker usually happens about a half hour to an hour after death. Her lifeless body is newly zombified. Her skin, which Taako can tell is usually a brownish color, has turned a bluish green in both suffocation and death, and her eyes are as black as oblivion. She seems to be struggling within the noose, wiggling and growling, small walker noises escaping from her throat, red raw and bruised from the rope. Taako can’t look at her directly for too long because the image makes him not only feel sick, but also incredibly depressed. 

Why did this girl take her life - and so young, too? Did she feel the way Taako feels occasionally, like there is no future to really look forward to? 

Although Taako can’t look at her directly for too long, feeling that the little girl is too disparaging of an image, what’s worse is what looks to be her family crowding around on the ground a little below and next to her. A middle aged woman is crying out in anguish, and Taako knows in his heart that the blood-curdling scream came from her, and it’s a reaction that can only be of a mother. Two young men are also next to the girl, both seeming to be in their twenties. One of them, the older-looking one, is standing solemnly, his head bowed as some people try to talk to him and offer their condolences, while the other, younger-looking one is on his knees, his head touching the pavement, a few feet from the girl. All three family members seem to be crying, and Taako can feel the tragedy and helplessness radiating off of them as he backs away from the situation. 

Of course, if Taako knew the family, maybe he’d try to go and comfort them. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t live in Phandalin and only just got to the compound a few minutes prior. He doesn’t want to intrude, or act like he knows the situation - he can merely guess what’s going on. He’s about to turn his back on them all and try to head back to the bar area to warm up when he hears a gunshot ring out, loud and sharp. He turns quickly on his heel and, to his horror, sees that the little girl is now limply hanging from the clothesline, a clean, bloody hole through her skull.

He’s not horrified at the fact that they killed the little girl. After all, that walker hanging from the noose was no longer that girl that they had once known, and he knows that he himself would not want to live on as a walker, really - everyone deserves the dignity to actually die when they die, not just turn. No, he isn’t horrified at the girl dying. He’s only really appalled at the use of a gun. 

As soon as that gunshot rings out, that loud noise echoes for a mile around outside the complex, and with them being so close to the herd, Taako's mind races with panic that the herd will somehow be able to breach the walls and capture the compound. _But that’s unrealistic, _he thinks to himself, trying to calm down. _Phandalin is reinforced, and advertised as a safe community and compound for waiting out the herd. There wouldn’t be any dangers to that, and even if it is idiotic to use a gun while there’s an imminent herd, there’s no actual danger looming,_ Taako thinks, and he knows that he can feel comfortable and safe while he’s here. 

At least that’s what he thinks until he hears the second scream of the afternoon. 

It’s coming from a few yards away from him, at the edge of the crowd that has formed around the dead girl hanging. He sees as he whips his head over to the scream that a walker has bit into the shoulder of the woman that greeted him at the gate with a nod, and chaos breaks out in the thick of both citizens of Phandalin along with walkers. There’s a swarm of dozens of walkers around the group now, and Taako immediately draws his knife and wand, his eyes darting around the compound to look for high, safe spots. He knows in his mind without having to check that there’s been a breach in the walls. “Shabby but safe” was never really safe at all, he thinks, and reminds himself that it’s always safer and better to keep on the run than to stay in compounds and trust other people. He sees that the highest building is a church, and sets to go to the belfry, but while he’s on his way (easily sweeping and stabbing two walkers as he strides towards the church), his heart pangs as he remembers the family that has just lost their little girl. 

He glances back at the scene, and while he doesn’t really want to get involved in trying to “save” someone, he thinks that those family members, once the thick of people are out of the way and running somewhere else to survive, are doubtful going to run themselves. They’re too stricken with grief to move, and these thoughts are confirmed as he sees that the young man he saw before on his knees has not moved, or even seemed to have taken note that there has been an influx of walkers. Frustrated at himself for giving into emotional urges, he wades through the group and takes the man by the arm, tugging him to his feet and dragging him along with himself as he makes way for the belfry again. 

“Hey, wait, what are you-” the man stutters out, seemingly shocked and displeased to be moved out of his grieving position. 

Taako doesn’t answer - he’s not sure what exact he’d respond with. He knows in his heart that the man is probably expecting Taako to go back and try to “save” the rest of his family - presumably his mom and brother - but Taako isn’t going back to that battle area at least for a day, seeing as the thick of the herd seems to be flooding in the crack in the walls now and Taako is relieved as they get to the door of the church and make it inside. He locks the door behind them and begins to climb the stairs, letting go of the man’s arm finally as he starts the flights. He thinks there’s probably about 3 flights to climb, which isn’t necessarily as high up as he’d like, but regardless, no walker is going to be able to climb 3 flights of stairs up to the belfry. 

It takes Taako half of a flight of stairs to look back and realize that the man isn’t actually following him up the stairs. He sighs, and in his mind is already scolding himself for going back for the guy, but goes back to the church’s front door where he finds the man slumped against the wall, once again crying, his knees to his chest. 

So, yeah. Taako’s not necessarily a softie. Even before the apocalypse started. But that doesn’t mean that he’s not compassionate. “Hey, I’m sorry, about the girl and all. And your family. I wouldn’t have separated you from them unless I thought that it would be safer for someone to come with me. But I’m sure your family will be fine,” Taako lies, and it comes out smoothly through his teeth. He’s not sure how convincing he sounds, considering he rarely has any emotional interaction with people. The most interaction he has on a weekly basis is buying or trading for batteries or bullets, and the trader he usually works with is an asshole. 

The man doesn’t respond to him, but he stops sobbing, which is relieving to Taako. He’s not sure how to deal with people crying. He really is not equipped for that. For the first time, Taako can actually see the man’s face in detail, and he studies it while the man seems to get his bearings. _It’s a good face,_ Taako thinks. His skin is a medium brown - resembling the dead girl in complexion, except for the splotchiness that Taako supposes is coming along with his grief, and he’s got freckles dancing upon his face. His hair is red and untamed, a beard and sideburns messily outlining his features. The man’s eyes are a dark brown, eyes that are currently red-ringed and watery, and his face is unique in shape, with a hooked, broken nose. 

Taako is jerked out of his study when the door that the man is slumped against receives a thump from the opposite side, and the telltale growling and gurgling of a dead man, or what he supposes to be many dead men, against the door, attempting to knock it down so they can get in. He feels awkward and out of place telling the man to get over himself and his dead family members (and about-to-be-dead family members) so that they can save themselves, but he supposes if he’s a dick in order to save lives, then it’s okay to be a dick. “Okay, we have to go now, sorry.”

He’s not sure if the man would actually come with him willingly, and they don’t seem to have much time before the old church door and lock give in to the hundreds of walkers flooding into Phandalin, so he once again grabs the man by his arm and tugs him along as Taako begins for the second him his ascension to the belfry. There’s three flights of stairs and the first is the most difficult because the guy is basically dead weight. Sure, Taako’s basically a master-zombie-killer, but like he clarified before, he’s not an athlete of any kind, his frame not even close to being muscular. So supporting a seemingly grown man through a flight of stairs is not exactly his cup of tea. Eventually, though, as the second flight comes around, the man seems to support himself and walks along with Taako to climb up the stairs. When they get to the top, safely in the belfry at the highest point in the city, Taako is relieved. He sits down criss-cross and isn’t surprised in the slightest when the man slumps next to him. 

Although he knows and remembers from years ago what’s socially acceptable, that in this situation that would mean comforting the man again and attempting to know him more, but what Taako needs to assess right now has almost nothing to do with the man. He needs to know how long they can stay in the belfry safely, and that depends on what he’s got in his pack. He wasn’t planning on packing extra supplies and only packed enough at the last compound to last him until he got to Phandalin, but there was not much time once he arrived here until he had to escape to the top of the church tower, so he’s anxious that there isn’t much - and for good reason. 

As he spills out his pack onto the rough wood in front of him, there really isn’t too much there in terms of food and water, which is what they need if they want to stay safely on the belfry for a while. He’s got two energy bars, which he usually eats as breakfast or a snack in between meals. He has his reusable water bottle, which has about 400 milliliters of water in it, which he is grateful for. Then there’s the things that he always has with him- his mini first aid kit, which includes gauze, bandages, a small package of painkillers, and neosporin; his Walkman CD player, along with his 7 CDs that he has collected over 3 years, with earbuds to listen; his extra clothes, and his weapons, which include his twenty-centimeter knife, his twelve-centimeter knife, along with a handgun, a small pistol. Tucked next to them is his wand, worn from time but still usable. In a small box, he also has some batteries - some dead, some not - along with bullets. He hasn’t been paying much attention to the man’s reactions to any of the items, but he sees out of the corner of his eye that his eyes widen when he sees the handgun. He raises an eyebrow at the man in front of him. “What, never seen a gun?”

The man in front of him glances downwards, and then again up at Taako’s face. “I have. Never used one, is all.”

While Taako shouldn’t be surprised, because he knows that a lot of people have spent the entirety of the apocalypse within a compound, never needing to defend themselves, he still holds the fact that the man in front of him has never used a gun in disbelief. He’s got to be at least twenty years old, an older young adult, but has never used a firearm. 

Taako realizes probably later than he should have that the man doesn’t know his name, and he doesn’t know the man’s name, and he has been looking over his items in silence trying to determine how much they would need to ration to wait out the herd, rather than have basic human interaction with the person he knows he’s going to have to spend probably the next couple days with. “I forgot to say, but my name is Taako. And you are…?”

When he looks up from his pack, he sees that the man is dangling his legs over the side of the belfry, and he’s looking over the town. The view from the church, the highest point, gives the man and Taako clear vision over the entire compound, and he can clearly see that his eyes are connected with the small, lifeless girl still attached by the neck to the clothesline only a few buildings away. “My name’s Magnus Burnsides. That girl... her name is Rose and she is my sister.”

Taako’s chest steels and although he guessed that the man - Magnus - would be the dead girl’s brother, the trembling in his voice is cutting to his heart and he doesn’t like the feeling. He tries to shake it off as he divides 400 ml into what they will be drinking for the next two days in his head. While he wants to ignore the situation, though, Magnus seems to have different ideas, and continues to talk, as he stares down to the town below. As Taako glances down too, he sees that the streets of the once safe compound are now filled, packed entirely with walkers. 

“Her name is Rose and she is twelve years old. She’s been with me ever since the world ended. She likes - she liked music, and she had a music player too, except hers was a boombox, not a Walkman. She liked to braid her hair and others’ hair, even mine,” Magnus gets out, before his voice falters and he pauses for a moment. Although he wants nothing more than to put in his earbuds so he can escape the emotion of the conversation, Taako listens on. “She was pure and everything in this goddamn world is so dirty now. Everything’s going to shit.”

Something about the conviction in Magnus’s voice and the way that the words are clearly coming from the heart strikes Taako to his core. He doesn’t have much interaction with people. He can’t remember the last time that he has had an emotional conversation with someone. It must have been before the outbreak. He reaches out and touches Magnus’s shoulder lightly, and Magnus’s eyes shift from where he’s been looking - at the body of the hanging girl - to Taako’s face. Their eyes lock. 

Taako’s not entirely sure what to do. He knows in his heart that there’s nothing he can do. Magnus may not realize it, but the rest of his family is most likely being torn to shreds down in the compound. There is very little chance that anyone got out alive. If most are like Magnus, untrained people who live out their lives in compounds with walls surrounding them, then they wouldn’t have the same quick reaction as Taako. They’d panic, or they would stay grieving, just like Magnus did before Taako grabbed him. 

Taako doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to fuck anything up, just looks into Magnus’s eyes and hopes that he feels some sort of comfort. Without warning, Magnus leans forward and hugs Taako tightly, his arms fitting reflexively around Taako’s shoulders. Taako is taken aback. 

He hasn’t had a hug in 3 years. 

After a few quick seconds, Taako’s arms wrap around Magnus’s waist and he hugs him back. There’s a sort of squeeze from Magnus, and Taako relishes in the warmth and closeness for a moment before he’s pulling away. When he does, he realizes that Magnus isn’t pulling away and is in the same position, clinging to Taako. Biting his lip as he does, Taako softly separates himself from him, and when he does, realizes that his shoulder is warm and wet with tears. Magnus’s pretty eyes are red-rimmed again, and tear tracks separate the dust and grime on his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Taako manages, and Magnus nods, and they go back to their previous states: Taako sorting out his possessions, and Magnus dangling his legs off of the belfry, his eyes watching over both the lifeless little girl, her forehead covered in blood, as well as the hundreds of walkers swarming the compound. 

After a little while, though, Taako realizes that one of the things he might have overlooked while choosing this as their hideout is weather. It’s fucking freezing, and it’s even colder at the top of the church tower. While they have the safest place in the compound to hide from zombies, they have the worst place temperature-wise. _I don’t think I’m as accurate as a thermometer, _Taako reckons, _but it must be about negative ten degrees._ He’s not wearing the most thermodynamic thing possible, but he’s just wearing what he’s been wearing for at least a year; his dark jeans, a black “I heart Faerun” shirt that he’d found in an abandoned grocery store, and his Doc Marten boots that he’s had for too long to remember. He pulls his jacket out of his backpack to shrug on (it’s rather big on him - a collared zip jacket with wool lining, but he feels at home in it), and feels a little better, but then remembers that Magnus’s there too, and wonders if he’s feeling cold. 

Right now they’re fairly north within Faerun, and it’s colder weather than what Taako is used to- but Magnus doesn’t look bothered. He’s wearing a long sleeved shirt, and Taako reckons that’s good enough. Taako’s mind trails lazily to where he might go to find a new shirt, because this one is getting worn down too quickly and it’s got a hole in the shoulder, when he realizes that Magnus is standing up. Magnus’s entirely up and still gazing at the girl when Taako reaches for his knife. 

Magnus steps towards the edge of the belfry, and Taako grabs his body, pulling him back and drawing his knife to the man’s throat. Like Taako expects, he struggles, trying to release himself from Taako’s grasp, but Taako has an iron grip and with the twelve-centimeter blade to his throat, Magnus’s not trying anything. “What - the - fuck,” he makes out, but Taako just tightens his grip even more and they step back from the edge of the belfry. 

He’s not entirely sure what compels him to try this hard to keep Magnus from stepping off. There’s something about the way that Magnus’s eyes and crooked nose make him feel. It’s nothing personal. He doesn’t know much about him at all - basically, what he knows is that Magnus thinks the world is shit, and he’s sad because his sister died. But that isn’t a good enough reason to become a walker. “You can’t waste your life when the entire world has been robbed of theirs. It’s not fair. To anyone,” Taako spits. “You don’t get to do that.”

“My entire family is going to be dead or walkers if I don’t go and try to help them. My little sister just died. You have no idea how I feel, so shut the fuck up about fair. How about you don’t get to regulate my actions?” Magnus quips right back, but his body is not as tense in Taako’s grasp as it was before. He’s relaxing slightly. Taako doesn’t move the blade. “How about that?”

“And what, you think my family’s alive?” Silence. “Everyone dies, Magnus. Everyone I once knew? Dead. My entire hometown is wiped out. Nobody’s alive - not my family, not my friends, not even my fucking twin sister. I don’t care what you think about me not letting you leave this belfry. You will die if you go.” Magnus’s eyebrows furrow and Taako can tell he’s processing his words. “I’m not a fucking saint. I don’t make friends with people. But I’ll be fucking damned if you jump off this belfry to your death. The world has enough walkers. I’m not letting you add to them.” 

Taako slumps to his knees, taking Magnus down with him, and they inch away from the side of the building. The silence and tension is thick but Taako has no intention to try to dissipate it. He’s exhausted from the amount of interaction he’s had with Magnus - emotional interaction, no less - and the amount of dialogue between them, but still, he’s sitting on the ground with Magnus in front of him, the knife still at Magnus’s throat. He doesn’t trust Magnus. The belfry is small, only about 10 square ft, and he’s unsure that if he took the blade off, that Magnus wouldn’t just get up and leave. 

Silently, he wonders why he cares so much whether Magnus is going to die or not. 

Like, sure. It’s not good for people to die. He thinks Magnus’s a decent person from what he’s seen. There’s endless amounts of walkers and Magnus becoming one doesn’t help him in any way. But something creeping up in Taako’s chest tells him it’s not just about him ensuring his own safety. It’s something else, and he pushes the thought and feeling away like a slow, legless walker. 

The adrenaline is starting to wear off, and even though it’s morbid, he’s glad that Magnus’s body is pressed up against his own for warmth. The sun is setting and it’s going to be dark soon, meaning that it’s even colder than it was when they first got to the top of the belfry. 

As time inches by and the sky fills with colors, Taako watches it and tries to focus on this instead of the cold, or the awkwardness, or the little dead girl. Magnus actually slumps against him, exhausted and shivering, and Taako thinks for once maybe it’s okay not to be alone. 

Late at night, when Taako thinks Magnus is asleep, he hears him talk, his voice rough and scratchy. "Can I come with you? When you leave?" 

Thinking for a moment, Taako wonders how much of a liability Magnus will be. He is naturally brawny and large, but has no idea how to use a gun, and is stricken with grief for his family. He seems to be a big softie. Everything in him that is logical tells him to say no, to tell Magnus to find another community to settle down in. But there's a part of his heart that rejects that, the part of him that knows Magnus has been watching his dead sister's body swing back and forth with the winter wind for the past few hours. He exhales the tension in his shoulders, and allows himself to say, "Yes."


	2. be still, my indelible friend; you are unbreaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _After a few minutes, Taako feels the bed sink, Magnus’ weight just near him. Through the light of the bedroom window, the moon illuminates Magnus’ figure in front of him. He’s beautiful. Though his eyes are worn from the upset and grief of the past few days, the premature smile lines on his face soften him, and Taako has never seen or met anyone kinder, more open than he is. He strips off his shirt, leaving only a white, worn tank top, and removes his jeans, leaving him in just his underwear, and he climbs under the covers. Through their proximity, Taako can feel his ever present warmth, feel Magnus’ breath just near him. It makes his whole body heat up, being this close to Magnus, but he feels addicted to it, and closes his eyes to stay in the feeling. _
> 
> Taako and Magnus leave Phandalin. They have to share a bed, and Taako opens up.

When Taako wakes up, it is with a shudder. The cold is suffocating in the frosty early morning of post-apocalyptic Faerun. It chills his skin and he finds that his ears are numb, pressed against his head. 

His hands would be numb, too, if they weren’t holding Magnus closely against his chest. Sometime in the night he had put down his twelve-centimeter blade a foot away and his hands were tucked gently against Magnus’ chest, their body heat combined from proximity. It was way too early in the morning to really be moving; Magnus himself was asleep, but Taako couldn’t help but feel frozen, especially with not as much meat on his bones as Magnus. But Taako realizes something: the herd has passed. Looking down from the belfry to the town below, Taako finds the streets of Phandalin overrun with zombies, the pavement soaked in blood. It makes him feel sick, and he looks away easily, glancing to see the status of the world beyond this compound. It was freezing, but if Magnus said he wanted to keep going with Taako, they would keep going. There was nothing here for them anymore. The sky isn’t even bright yet, a dark, cold morning, but Taako shakes the man in front of him awake. “Hey, Magnus,” he speaks gently, shaking Magnus’ shoulders to wake him up. 

Instead of replying with words, Magnus just groans, and he leans back into Taako’s touch. It makes Taako’s stomach feel weird for some reason, so he wrenches his touch away, standing up on the belfry and leaving Magnus alone sitting down. Quietly, Taako watches him stir, rubbing his eyes, and then looking down at the town before him, realizing the events of yesterday, evident through the crowd of walkers inside the gates of his home, the bloodied clothesline holding his little sister, and the broken, fallen gates and fences of Phandalin commune. 

Although Taako tries to remove himself from the situation, watching Magnus remember what has happened wrenches his heart, makes it hard to swallow. He looks desperate, hopeless. Taako approaches him, putting a hand on his shoulder, and he looks back at Taako with tears welling in his eyes. With big sleeves, he wipes the hot tears from his face, looking a bit embarrassed. “Yeah?” 

Hesitating for a moment, Taako pauses, and then extends a hand to help Magnus up. He takes it, their hands clasped together, and Magnus’ grip is rough but gentle, his hands calloused and warm. They stand together for minute, Magnus looking down and Taako looking at him. Taako clears his throat. “We have to leave here.” 

For a moment, Magnus looks angry -- again. “No. There could be survivors. We need to make sure we don’t leave anyone. My mom, my brother… they could be alive,” he says firmly, looking Taako in the eye. 

Shifting a bit, Taako huffs. “My dude, I would love to tell you that we could go look in every nook and cranny of this town to check for survivors. But look. Look at the streets. We go down there, we die.” And it’s true: every street corner is filled with walkers, with hardly any gaps. The gates are mostly down, but with exits being few, the herd moved on without the walkers that flooded into Phandalin, and now the town is infested with them, no gaps in sight. “Look. It is possible that there are survivors. And if there are, they can get by without you helping them. They made it this far. But if we try to be heroes, try to go down there and scour the town, we will get bit. We will die. We’re not doing that.” And Taako says it with such finality that Magnus nods, looking down from the belfry. Taako silently wonders if Magnus doesn’t want to know if his family is still alive. 

Looking to the buildings surrounding, Taako assesses another way out. There are buildings on either side of the church, and while it wouldn’t be easy, he’s pretty sure they could jump from the belfry to a lower building’s roof, a jump of about 6 or 7 feet. He looks at Magnus, evaluating his athleticism. “Think you can jump to that ridge?” he asks, and Magnus looks it over. Then he nods, shaking his body out and stretching for a moment. Then, while zipping his bag him in preparation to leave their hideout, he sees his wand, and has an idea. “Hey, let’s not risk it. Can I just levitate you?” he asks, and Magnus looks a little insulted. 

“I can make it,” he insists. 

Taako shrugs. “It’s your life, my dude, not mine,” he says. “Ready?” he asks. Magnus nods. 

Taking a running start, Magnus jumps from the edge of the belfry to the neighboring building’s roof, landing smoothly. He looks back at Taako with a grin, looking exhilarated, and Taako smiles back, before casting Levitate and floating himself to the edge. When he lands on the roof next to Magnus gently, Magnus steps closer and hugs him again, and it takes Taako off guard, stiffening and his grip on his wand tightening defensively, but when he realizes Magnus is just embracing him, he exhales his tension, and tentatively places his hands around Magnus’ back, too. It’s a friendly hug, he reasons, before gently pushing Magnus away. Laughing a bit, Magnus wipes a tear from his eye again. “Sorry. I just thought we were never gonna leave that fuckin’ church roof.” 

That makes Taako giggle, and then they’re both laughing, the sun beginning to warm the sky and the groans of freezing dead men an underlying soundtrack to their morning. They quiet after a few minutes, and keep moving, jumping and levitating their way from building to building until they’re at the edge of Phandalin. The jump to the ground is too high for Magnus to jump, so Taako gently levitates him to the ground, coming close behind. 

Opening his backpack, he retrieves his twelve centimeter and twenty centimeter blades, handing the smaller one to Magnus, and straps his wand to his hip in an easily accessible place. Magnus seems to just watch, dazed, and he gazes at the blade Taako has placed him his palm. He smiles dumbly at Taako. Taako raises an eyebrow. “Self defense. Know it?” he asks gently. 

Magnus exhales a laugh, and then shrugs. “Basic self-defense. I can usually take a walker in a fight, keep from getting bit. Beat up a few thugs in Phandalin. Got the frame for it,” he says, and Taako agrees, unable to stop his eyes from sliding down the man’s body, his large frame and strong arms. He remembers feeling his firm, solid chest under his fingers this morning when he woke up. Though he wore less clothing than Taako, he was warm to the touch. “Probably not as good as you, though,” he reasons, smiling at Taako. 

Shrugging, Taako retrieves his compass, and racks his brain on where to go next. They should probably head to the nearest settlement, as Taako is nowhere near stocked up on supplies. He knows there is another commune west of Phandalin called Leilon Community. He’s unsure of their status, but it’s their best bet, and they surely can’t stay here. There are even a few walker stragglers a few yards away from them, so Taako grabs Magnus’ hand, and pulls him quietly to the direction they need to head. 

It’s quiet, at first, their walking: Taako’s sure the trip is around a day on foot, and he isn’t in the mood for speaking, even when Magnus tries to strike up a conversation with him. Taako’s always on edge: considering Magnus’ life as a sheltered commune-dweller, he’s not prepared to face the death and destruction awaiting him. Every walker that they come across, Taako sweeps their legs, toppling them over, and he inserts his blade into their craniums quickly and easily. As he does so, he feels Magnus’ eyes on him, studying him, learning. 

It’s less cold now, as it is the middle of the day, and the sun burns hot over their heads, melting the accumulated snow and ice on the ground. Taako knows it will freeze over again tonight, but he revels in the feeling of the sun on his skin. Lup used to love sunbathing. 

He is shaken from his thoughts when Magnus asks him another question. “So, you’ve got this killing zombies thing down to a routine, huh?” he comments, his voice gruff. 

Turning his bloodied blade over in his hand, Taako smiles a bit to himself. Now this is something he can talk about. “Yeah, I think I do, actually,” he says, looking up at Magnus. “It gets that way when you have to defend yourself out here.” 

Watching his face, Taako sees Magnus’ eyes widen. “Wait. Have you been alone since the outbreak?” he asks slowly, and Taako smiles a little sadly. 

“Yeah,” he says softly, and does not explain. “Have you been with your family since the outbreak?” he asks. He genuinely wonders. It’s not common to still be with family you had before the world ended. Usually, the disaster and chaos mean that found family is much more common than pre-apocalypse ones. 

Magnus’ face scrunches up a bit in use of memory, looking back at his past. “Yes and no. The day it began, I was 19. I went to college, but I still lived at home. On my way home, one day, I saw a guy going crazy in the street, yelling and trying to throw himself at this poor woman. I wanted to help her, but I just… sped home, and got my mom, brother and sister, and left. We travelled for a long time in that car, at least a year, but we’d been in Phandalin together for a couple years. Until yesterday, I guess. It was always safe, until yesterday.” He pauses for a moment, and when he speaks, his voice sounds a bit broken. “God. Rose.” 

Taako freezes, unsure what to say. Luckily, Magnus continues without him having to find the right words. “I… I keep thinking about it, and I wish I knew why she did… that. It seems so out of the blue. I feel like a crazy person. How did I miss that? How did I miss what she was feeling? Why did she feel that way? Like she needed to…” He doesn’t continue, but Taako knows what he means. 

Looking up at the sky, Taako sees that the clouds are moving fast, the wind blowing them and making them look like blankets hiding the sun. He tries to think of what to say. “It’s not your fault,” he settles on.

Watching as Magnus bites his lip, Taako feels unsettled. “It’s not my fault, but whose is it?” 

“I’m not sure if it’s anyone’s fault. She probably just felt… trapped. Don’t you ever feel that way?” Taako asks, and Magnus’ eyes dart away. 

Clearing his throat, Magnus looks on. “I guess so. When I feel that way, I like to remember my family.”

Taako’s chest feels funny. “And your dad? What happened to him?” 

Magnus shrugs. “He died when I was young. Natural causes and all that. Funny, seems like nobody dies from that nowadays, huh?” 

Nodding, Taako agrees, and steels himself for Magnus’ questions about his life for the outbreak. Instead, there is a comfortable, heavy silence, with only the sound of their boots crunching against ruined pavement. He looks over at Magnus suspiciously. “Aren’t you going to ask about my family?” he prods. 

Exhaling a laugh, Magnus shakes his head. “Do you want me to?” 

“Well… No,” he decides, which makes Magnus laugh, and they continue walking. “You were in university, huh?” Taako asks, and Magnus nods. 

“Trade school, really. I was learning to become a carpenter. I still love to make things with my hands,” he explains, and Taakos remembers the roughness and calloused nature of his palms and knuckles, imagines Magnus working with wood and metal. It is somehow perfect for this gentle giant next to him, to be a craftsman. Then, Magnus asks, “hope you don’t mind me asking, but did you do school or anything before the outbreak?” 

Taako shakes his head a bit. “Not university. I did some school, but mostly had to learn shit on my own. My sister and I, we travelled together. That was my family. Us against the world,” he notes solemnly, and he sees Magnus glance towards him and then down. “I didn’t even really know magic until a little before the outbreak. My sister was always so good at it, but we were young, and I could hardly carry a spell. I learned out of necessity because I was alone and needed all the help I could get. When I find a book with magic information and spells, I memorize it, make sure I know it. Magic is one of the reasons why I’m alive.” 

From beside him, he hears Magnus clear his throat. “I’m sorry, about your sister.” He pauses. “You seem to be really good at magic. It’s crazy that you’re self-taught.” 

“Well, my sister taught me a lot about it, before the end of the world,” he corrects gently, and they fall into a comfortable silence again, walking side-by-side. 

Taako shares his food and water with Magnus, ensuring he is strong enough to make it to the next compound, but they’re both worn down, only having had an energy bar and a drink of water the entire day, so when the walls of Leilon come into view, Taako’s heart beats a little faster. Eyeing it over as they approach slowly, Taako finds the walls to be still held up, unlike the Phandalin Commune, and there are people inside, alive and well. It makes him smile, and he holds Magnus back as Magnus begins to try to run forward. “Don’t. Just walk. I don’t see any walkers around, but let’s not risk it.” 

The woman at the gate is nice, and lets them in quickly when they say they are travellers. She is a tall, muscular half-orc and introduces herself as Killian, the protector of Leilon. Taako has been there before, but it was a while ago, and he is unsure if he has met the woman yet, but accepts her polite handshake as he introduces himself. Magnus grins at her, and hardily exclaims: “hail and well met, new friend!” which makes Taako laugh. 

The people at Leilon are really nice, nicer than Taako remembers. And it’s not like him to talk to people the way Magnus does; if he were by himself, he would just give some quick nods to familiar faces and get himself a drink and a meal at the bar alone, and then sleep. But Magnus seems to gravitate to each person in the compound, and it’s like he knows everyone from being distantly related to them or everyone is a friend-of-a-friend. He’s jolly, happy, though his family was lost just a day ago. It makes Taako smile to see him laugh and talk to Killian and Killian’s apparent girlfriend, Carey, at the bar. Taako had bought him a beer (even in the apocalypse, people gotta get drunk), and he sips it, sometimes looking over at Taako, who sits more quietly next to them. They all share food, which Taako eats greedily, having not eaten well for the past two days. Taako’s drinking, and he would usually get more rowdy, but he’s wound up, still stressed from the events of yesterday. He doesn’t trust compounds, but it’s the only option for them right now -- they need to stock up, and it only makes sense to stay the night. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts when Magnus says “Taako?” and he realizes he hasn’t been listening to the group’s conversation at all. 

“Yeah?” 

Magnus smiles at him, his cheeks flushed from his intoxication. Taako’s fingers itch to touch him, but he pushes the thought back. “Carey asked if we wanted to stay the night in their spare room?” 

Something in Taako’s stomach flips for a moment, because spare room singular, and although he’s not going to say no, the likelihood that this room only has one bed is great. Is that really appropriate and okay to have with Magnus, so close after his grief? They had laid together last night on the belfry, but that was for warmth, and that Taako fell asleep holding a knife to Magnus’ throat. This was different -- committing to sleeping in the same room as each other when there may be other options. But he’s unsure of what to say, other than to agree. “Sure,” Taako says, taking another long swig of his own drink. 

It grows late, the sun set long ago, and though the bar is heated, Taako begins to feel the chill of the night creep up on him. They all agree to head back to Carey and Killian’s place, just a short walk across the town, and the two women show them their room. It’s what Taako expected: there is one bed, a medium double bed meant for two people to sleep in. It’s a modest place, but homey, and warm, and Taako is grateful, but already feels a bit of awkwardness creeping up on him. He glances at Magnus from the corner of his eyes, and the man’s expression is unreadable. 

Carey bids them goodnight, and closes the door softly behind them, leaving them alone. Taako puts down his bag on the floor and sits in a chair near the bed. Before him is an old piece of furniture, a vanity desk, and a mirror, broken in several places but still intact. Looking at his reflection, Taako begins to zip off his jacket, and strip off his exterior clothing. 

From behind him, he hears Magnus make a noise of surprise, and then shuffling. “You could have warned me, you know,” Magnus says, and Taako laughs at him, his mouth loosened with alcohol. 

“What, never seen a man before?” Taako jokes, unlacing his boots. “I think we should start getting ready for bed.”

But Magnus is stiff, standing in the corner of the room. He looks apprehensive. “Taako, I can’t.” 

“Can’t what?” Taako questions. 

“Um…” Magnus looks at the bed, and then back up at Taako. 

Taako huffs a sigh, turning in his seat to face Magnus. “Oh, get over yourself, Magnus. Too good to share a bed with me?” He pauses, and the tension in the room is palpable. Taako begins to feel a pulse, premeditating a headache. 

Magnus seems to blush. “Shut up. I’m just saying. I don’t want to… you know, cross any boundaries.”

Taako sighs. At this point, he can’t care about boundaries. “If you want to sleep on the floor, be my guest. But there’s a perfectly good bed right here, so I’m sleeping in it.”

With that, Taako messily takes off his shirt, leaving his chest bare, and he strips to his long johns that he wears under his jeans. Then, he walks over to the bed, sitting down there, turning the bedside lamp off, and he moves towards the wall, leaving a space on the bed open. If Magnus wanted to share the bed with him. If he changed his mind. 

After a few minutes, Taako feels the bed sink, Magnus’ weight just near him. Through the light of the bedroom window, the moon illuminates Magnus’ figure in front of him. He’s beautiful. Though his eyes are worn from the upset and grief of the past few days, the premature smile lines on his face soften him, and Taako has never seen or met anyone kinder, more open than he is. He strips off his shirt, leaving only a white, worn tank top, and removes his jeans, leaving him in just his underwear, and he climbs under the covers. Through their proximity, Taako can feel his ever present warmth, feel Magnus’ breath just near him. It makes his whole body heat up, being this close to Magnus, but he feels addicted to it, and closes his eyes to stay in the feeling. 

After all, it had been so long since Taako had felt that human contact. Magnus had been with his family since before the outbreak, had a consistent connection. But when Taako lost Lup, he lost part of himself. He lost the only person he could ever be connected to in that way, a closeness beyond anything Magnus knows. But he missed it, missed the warmth of bodies near each other, the gentle touch of a hand, the hugs and physical affection. It’s making him feel more alive than he has in a while, and reminding him why he wants to keep on going.

Through the darkness of the room, Taako hears Magnus’ voice, and it jostles him a bit. “Taako?” he asks, and Magnus’ voice is soft, gentle. 

“Yeah?”

“I… I can’t stop thinking about my sister.”

And, oh. Taako curses himself internally for telling himself that Magnus had never had a connection so strong as the one he had with Lup. Magnus had family too, just as he had. Magnus had a sister, and had to watch her dead body hang from the clothesline in his town. His heart seems to pound in his chest, unsure what to say, unsure how to comfort. Instead, he just says, “my twin sister’s name was Lup.” 

But Magnus does not take it as an insult, and seems to revel in the new information Taako reveals. “Opening up?” he asks, and Taako laughs uncomfortably, softly. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it about me, really, but I guess I just want you to know, that I know how it feels, Magnus,” he whispers, needing to be quiet in this soft, dark space they have created. 

Through the darkness of the room, Magnus turns and faces him, and their faces are close together, Taako able to see him in the dark. Although he is not happy, still grieving his family’s death, he still smiles at Taako, still engages him. “Thank you,” he says, although Taako has done nothing worth thanking. “Did you want to talk about her? About… Lup?” 

A sharp, painful pang goes through Taako’s chest when he hears Magnus say her name. It makes him feel a little sick. “Sure. I guess,” he says, although he is not so sure. But Magnus has trusted him so much along this little journey, he came with him and they are together and he may as well know. “Like I said, it was my sister and I against the world. We were always together, always had each other’s backs. We weren’t at home from a young age - we ran away together, traveled in groups, traveled on our own.” He pauses for a moment, and his eyes shift to look through the window, the winter sky dotted with stars. “But when the outbreak came, she had left in the morning from the place we’d been staying at. We were at someone’s house, staying in their guest bedroom for a while, and I found a note on the bedside table. The only thing it said was ‘back soon.’” Taako’s eyes come to look in Magnus’, and they do not linger, because Magnus has this look of pity for him on his face that he can’t stand. “And I went back to sleep for a while, and woke up to pounding on my door. And there was yelling and growling, too, and although it sounded odd, I knew that it was my sister, and I thought she was sick, and didn’t know what was happening, so I opened the door to check on her, and she was so… horrible.” 

The warmth of Magnus gets just a little closer, his hand coming up to brush over his cheek comfortingly. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Taako.” 

“She had blood all over her, and there was a bite taken out of her face, and she had this insane look on her face, and I knew she wanted to kill me, she lunged at me, trying to fucking eat me, and I slammed the door in her face and grabbed my backpack and hopped out the window,” he finishes, and doesn’t notice that his hands are shaking by his sides until Magnus reaches out and touches one, his big, warm hands steadying Taako’s. 

Though he’s embarrassed, having never been this vulnerable with someone besides Lup, Taako clutches Magnus’ hand through the night like it’s a lifeline, like Magnus is holding him up when he’s about to fall. He hears Magnus’ gentle voice, and it almost makes everything alright when he hears it. “You’re certainly braver than I am,” Magnus says, and Taako scoffs, smiling at him. “No, seriously. I… I lost my family. At the very least, I lost Rose, but I can’t imagine my family got out of Phandalin safely. And already… I feel so out of place, so tired, so drained. I don’t know how to be motivated to keep living without them. How… how do you do it?” he asks, and Taako feels relieved he no longer has to talk about Lup. 

Thinking for a moment, Taako pauses, before whispering back. “Before everything went down and the world went to shit, I… I used to dream about having a big family of my own. Something me and Lup never really had. I wanted to have a husband, and adopt so many kids I would lose count, and then they’d have kids and we would have huge reunions where everyone was happy and ate lots of good food.” He pauses, and his fingers tighten around Magnus’. “I just… I think maybe, if I get through this awful, awful time, then one day I will be able to have that. It’s enough to keep me going.”

Lup, too, he doesn’t say, but thinks. Every time he feels like just giving up, just not putting up the fight, using his pistol to end it all, he remembers Lup, remembers the way she loved life. It’s not fair that he got to live when she didn’t, but he will continue on for Lup if nothing else. 

He hears Magnus exhale, and feels the warmth of his breath near his shoulder. It makes his entire body tingle, but he listens. “I guess I’ve just gotta find that for me,” he says, and then their eyes lock through the darkness, and it makes Taako’s stomach flip. “I… I was so depressed when I saw her hanging there, to think that she wanted to die, to not be alive anymore. I felt so much hopelessness for the future, and felt like my life was ending. And maybe that life was ending. But… I feel like there’s a new life for me, that you opened up.” Taako looks into Magnus’ eyes, brown and big, searching them. “I guess I just want to say thank you for that. And thank you for opening up about Lup to me, too. I know it’s hard. It means a lot.” 

Their faces are close, and Magnus eyes are sad and kind, affectionate and gentle, his hand still rests against Taako’s cheek, caressing his face slightly, and it feels right to have him there so close. Taako nods, smiling at Magnus, and his chest burns. Magnus’ hand begins to move down, clutching Taako’s shoulder, and he’s being pulled into an embrace again, warm and all-encompassing, and there’s something so natural about them, about the way it feels to be held by him. For once, Taako doesn’t pull away, and hugs Magnus back, lingering in the warmth of his embrace. 

After a minute, Magnus pulls back, and though Taako’s chest hurts to retract from the hug, he isn’t going to be weird, so he pulls back too. However, Magnus stays close to him, their faces just a few inches away from each other, Magnus’ dark eyes peering into his own. There’s a moment of silence before Magnus speaks again, soft and gentle and deep. “Can I… can I kiss you, Taako?” he asks, but Taako is already leaning forward, pressing his lips against Magnus’ own, just brushing each other, his hand coming around to wrap around Magnus’ broad back. He kisses him with all of the want in the world, all the softness and tenderness he can muster. If anyone deserves it, it’s Magnus. 

They fall asleep in each other’s arms, warm and safe from the outside world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these boys deserve love 
> 
> PLEASE comment if you enjoyed this!! otherwise it's hard for me to be motivated to write, if i don't know if anyone likes this or not :')
> 
> find me on tumblr - i mostly post taz and mcelboy content! also, i always make a tumblr post when i post a fic on ao3! @lucretiagf


	3. that love soon might end, and be known in its aching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do I deserve this? _Taako can’t help but think. There could be an argument made that he saved Magnus from certain death, but it was on an impulse. What would have happened if he hadn’t made that decision? Magnus would have been devoured, but Taako would have never known the possibilities of his actions, what they could become. It makes his heart feel like dropping to think of Magnus dead, and he wills himself not to fall too deeply in love with the man in front of him. _He will get hurt, _Taako reminds himself. _He’s not invincible. This world takes everyone. Magnus is no exception.
> 
> Taako shows Magnus how to shoot a gun, and takes him to his first scouting mission. Things don't go exactly as planned.

Footsteps rustle from outside their thin wooden door, and Taako awakens from his slumber, somewhere between a deep meditation and sleep. 

Beside him is Magnus, his burly, hairy arm thrown haphazardly around Taako’s middle, but it warms Taako’s heart (and body) that Magnus is cuddling him, making him feel giddy and like a little boy. For longer than Taako would admit, he watches Magnus like this: open, unconscious, uninhibited. His chest rises and falls with his breathing, and he snores gently, his mouth open and drooling onto his arm. It makes Taako laugh a bit, breathily, his mouth still waking up. 

Leaning down from where he is to reach Magnus’ face, he presses a kiss to the man’s cheek, and he begins to awaken, his eyes fluttering open to gaze at Taako sleepily. 

Because Taako knows he’s not Magnus’ family, the one he has lost so recently, he expects Magnus to be sad or angry when he remembers where he is, who he is with. But he looks genuinely happy, his smile meeting his eyes and crinkling the laugh lines around them. He clears his throat gently. “Mornin,’” he says softly. 

Taako sits up a bit next to him, shamelessly slides his eyes down Magnus’ partially undressed body. “Morning, handsome.” 

Almost immediately, Magnus just blushes, his brown skin flushing warm, and he ducks his head down. “You’re handsome,” he protests, and Taako leans down again to kiss him, but this time for real: their lips meet gently, still with morning breath, but Taako wants to live there kissing Magnus in the morning. It makes him dizzy with how much want he has. 

They hear a soft knock on the door that jostles them, and it’s Carey’s voice through the door. “Breakfast’s downstairs if you want it!” she calls, and then Taako hears her footsteps walk away and down the stairs. He exhales the tension in his shoulders that had arisen when he heard a noise on the other side of the door, and turns to Magnus. Magnus leans forward, connecting their lips firmly and sweetly, and he pulls away smiling at Taako. “Just wanted one more,” he jokes, and they begin to dress for the outside world, beyond this small guest bedroom at Carey and Killian’s place. Having been a safe room for them, Taako almost regrets leaving, but he can’t stand being in communities - proof of how unsafe they are is not hard to find, Taako just has to remember what happened in Phandalin. 

Magnus opens the door for him like a gentleman, and they begin to exit the nice little room, Taako stealing a peck before he does so. Magnus obliges, ducking his head down to meet Taako’s kiss, and Taako is surprised each time at the gentleness of his lips, despite his strength in stature. He is a contradiction and it thrills Taako, pressing his tongue forward and kissing the man before him deeper. 

Stepping forward, Taako pushes him against the wall near the door, sliding their bodies together, and he can feel how warm Magnus is to the touch, can see how wide his eyes are, but how dark they are, too. It lights a fire inside of Taako, and he slides his hands down the front of Magnus’ shirt, touching him unashamedly. 

In his mind, Taako takes a moment to think of where they are, the events of the past two days, but they seem far away with Magnus right under his fingertips. Maybe they both need this. 

Ignoring the fact that this is someone else’s home, Taako kisses Magnus, hot and heavy, quick and passionate, and the big guy is responding in tandem, keeping up with him just the same. His big, roughened hands come to the small of Taako’s back and just a little below, and it makes Taako burn inside, sucking on Magnus’ bottom lip and making him gasp out. 

Gently, those big hands come up to his chest and push him away, and he looks up at Magnus’ face a little dumbstruck. Is he being rejected? But Magnus is smiling at him, fondly, Taako thinks, and it makes him feel bad for pushing. “Maybe later? I think we should get breakfast,” Magnus says, almost jovially, and Taako nods, hoping the blush on his face isn’t evident. 

They head downstairs, and the two women are already at their table, eating a breakfast of eggs, stir-fried vegetables and what looks to be homemade bread. It’s a lovely spread, a bigger breakfast than Taako has seen in a while, and he sits down next to Magnus at the table, enjoying the food given to them. 

At the end of their meal, Killian and Carey bid them well, promising that their spare room was always there to be borrowed -- and Taako thinks Carey says something to Magnus that he doesn’t hear, something that makes Magnus’ face light up in a pink blush. _Cute,_ Taako thinks, and internally smacks himself for how hard he’s falling for Magnus already. 

It’s probably not a good idea to chase anything with Magnus, he recognizes that. But the world is so shitty now, death and destruction all around them. Why should he deny himself this - something sweet and complicated, but simple all the same? 

Patiently, Magnus waits for him at the edge of the marketplace in Leilon, as Taako buys supplies, bullets, food, and an extra sleeping roll for Magnus. They weren’t going to stay in Leilon -- it was a nice community, for sure, and a great place to bookmark in his head as somewhere to restock and rest, but Taako is not going to still his life and become a commune-dweller, not if he has anything to say about it. And Magnus still has so much to learn if he wants to be able to defend himself properly. 

That’s why Taako knows that he needs to take Magnus to train, to show him how to shoot a gun, to show him how to scavenge. If he was going to truly move on from his old life, he would have to learn how to do things the Taako way -- how to kill easily and efficiently, how to scout out new locations to ensure their safety, which items were worth taking for their value and use and which ones should not weigh them down. He had just the place in mind to take Magnus, and when he finds himself stocked up properly, they set out again into the open world. 

It’s still morning but a few hours later when they finally come across the abandoned junkyard Taako knows. It’s a vast thing, sprawling for acres, filled with knick knacks, old cars, junk metal, old signs, and more. Magnus looks at him quizzically, and Taako shrugs. “I come here a lot. There’s usually no-one here, the occasional walker excluded. But it’s a great place for target practice,” he insists, and unzips his backpack to retrieve his pistol, turning it over in his palm for Magnus to see. “You need to know how to defend yourself. This is a good place to learn.” 

The fear and apprehension on Magnus’ face is palpable. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t the gunshot ring out?” 

Magnus’ thoughtfulness and care impresses Taako, and he smiles at the man before him. “Good thinking, but no. I have a silencer on my pistol, making it different than most guns in its sound -- a lot quieter. And we don’t have to worry as much as we did… in Phandalin, because the herd’s well away from here,” he explains, treading lightly on the name of Magnus’ previous home. 

Handing the pistol to Magnus, he watches the man take it in his hand, running his thumb over the curve of the metal trigger. It looks almost too small for him, but he grips it properly, looking a bit nervous and exhilarated all at once. 

They collect bottles from around the junkyard, enough to line up on a ridge for shooting practice. Magnus aims the gun with shaky hands, holding it in front of his face. Taako stops him gently. “It’s okay. Nothing to be afraid about. It’s just… it’s just a thing. It can’t hurt you, you have control,” he reminds Magnus gently, watches his hands stop shaking at Taako reaches out to touch them gingerly. “I want you to aim the gun at one of the bottles, inhale, and squeeze as you exhale. It’s okay if you don’t hit it on the first one.” 

And he does, bringing the gun in front of him once more, and this time his fingers don’t shake as he takes a deep breath, and shoots at the glass on the ridge. He doesn’t hit a bottle, and the pressure of the gunshot makes Magnus’ hands fly up, but he looks back at Taako grinning like he won a game. “I shot it!” he exclaims, a little giddy. 

Taako can’t help but smile, the genuine good nature of the man before him rubbing off on him. “Yeah, you did. Let’s try to hit a bottle next time.” 

His arms coming up again and holding the gun outstretched in front of him, he is not perfectly still, attempting to aim. Taako comes up behind him, setting a hand on either one of his shoulders, and speaks to him in a low and comforting tone. “Keep it steady. You’ve got this in you. I know it.” 

And Magnus shoots his pistol again, and Taako hears the shattering of glass as one of the bottles on the far-off wall explodes. Magnus whoops, and Taako cheers for him, clapping for Magnus, and unexpectedly, quickly, Magnus puts down the gun on a surface near them (an old beaten-down countertop with the surface cracked) and swoops in to kiss him, his big hand coming to curl around Taako’s waist and making his entire body alight in goosebumps. He almost has the mind to throw the big lug off of him, but the feeling of his lips on Taako’s own is enough to stave that, make him wrap his hands around Magnus’ neck to pull him closer. 

They’re sucking face in an abandoned junkyard, the sounds of nature all around them and almost eerie quiet, and he feels like jumping Magnus’ bones right there, before he reminds himself to be cautious, be alert, there could be anything around. 

It’s hard to remember that, though, when Magnus’ flat, muscular chest is warm against his open palm, and when he sweeps a thumb over where he approximates Magnus’ nipple would be through his shirt, the man above him moans in a strained, almost-there way that sends a pang of arousal through his body. _Oh, Gods, _Taako thinks. _You can’t seriously be getting turned on during target practice. _

But Magnus’ hands are coming up under the back of his shirt, his palms sliding against the warm skin of his back, and it feels nice, comforting, and just right, so he continues to kiss him until he’s out of breath, pulling away from Magnus with wide eyes and no oxygen. 

Magnus looks back at him with this wonder in his eyes, this look of amazement and awe that Taako feels undeserving of, to be the subject of. His lips may not be connected with Taako’s anymore, but he continues to touch him, those big hands brushing against his back, his sides, his chest. “Magnus,” he breathes out, unable to say anything else, and the man just smiles back at him, genuinely, lovingly. 

_Do I deserve this? _Taako can’t help but think. There could be an argument made that he saved Magnus from certain death, but it was on an impulse. What would have happened if he hadn’t made that decision? Magnus would have been devoured, but Taako would have never known the possibilities of his actions, what they could become. It makes his heart feel like dropping to think of Magnus dead, and he wills himself not to fall too deeply in love with the man in front of him. _He will get hurt, _Taako reminds himself. _He’s not invincible. This world takes everyone. Magnus is no exception. _

After kissing for a little while, Taako trying and failing to keep his adoration for Magnus under wraps, and he makes Magnus try to hit more of the bottles on the fence, and he does, and Taako praises him, his hands lingering on Magnus’ skin after congratulations were in order. It doesn’t help that Magnus seems to lean into his touch, want more than Taako is giving him. 

After Taako is satisfied with what he sees in Magnus’ abilities, he dusts them off, and pulls out his compass again, calculating how to get to their next location. Magnus looks at him curiously. “Will I ever get to know where we’re going before we get there?” he asks, and it’s enough to make Taako laugh. 

“Sure. We’re headed to an abandoned city near here. There’s some abandoned shops there that should be good pickings for scavengers, I’ve heard. Thought we could do your first scouting mission,” he explains, and Magnus nods eagerly, already excited by the prospect. 

It’s no more than an hour’s walk, and they’ve arrived, and the city streets are filled with dusty, broken pavement and overgrown nature. It’s more dangerous, here, than the countryside, the amount of walkers more dense, and Taako adjusts his alertness accordingly, keeping both his knife and wand near for easy access. He watches Magnus, too, who has adopted his way of killing walkers-- sweeping them through their knees and quickly inserting a blade into their heads. He’s still a little clumsy about it, but it makes Taako proud in a way that he feels almost embarrassed to feel, something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

They make their way to the particular shop that Taako has marked down, an abandoned Fantasy Costco, potentially filled with supplies and food that could help their journey in the future, and could catch a pretty penny at any market. But Taako is still careful, ensuring that Magnus knows there could be dangers within the enclosed space. “We have to check everything out first, make sure there’s no walkers inside. Then we can look for supplies. Be careful, and make sure to check every room and space you go into. I’ll have your back,” he pledges, and Magnus nods, and Taako uses a spare scrap of metal from the street to pry the locked door open, the mechanics thunking on the ground as they break off from the door, and it opens, squeaking from lack of use. 

Inside, the shop is dusty, and Taako hears nothing from its contents -- and looking around he sees that most of the inventory is still intact, bar the obvious takers like painkillers and energy bars. But there’s cans upon cans of food and medicine still sitting on the shelves, and he’s amazed at what is still preserved, what they still may be able to salvage. 

Holding his knife outstretched, Taako walks carefully forward, looking through the aisles to check for walkers. He sees none, and stomps on the floor loudly to be sure, and finds no life stirring, no dead men occupying the shop. “Looks like we’re good to go,” he assures, smiling at Magnus, who smiles back at him, big and wide. The burly man steps forward, closing the gap between them, and Taako almost forgets he’s in an abandoned grocery store, the proximity shorting his brain out. 

Ducking his head low, Magnus kisses Taako again, long and sweet, making Taako’s heartache and body throb with pleasure and want. He can never stop wanting, the restlessness inside him greedy, always needing more. His hands reach for Magnus’ neck, pulling him down, and as they shift closer, he can feel Magnus hard against his leg, his erection straining against his pants, and as Taako’s body rubs against him, he groans, barely constrained, against Taako’s mouth. It makes Taako’s heart race, feeling young again, and his slender hands dance upon Magnus’ back. 

Kissing Magnus’ neck, Taako smiles against his skin, warm and salty. “You sound so fucking good,” he says honestly, and Magnus tenses, and although he is not looking at him he knows the man is blushing. 

He’s not sure of his own movements, just that within the next few seconds Magnus’ shirt is off, flung haphazardly to the linoleum floor just a few feet away, and his fingers need to touch all this new space, the expanse of Magnus’ chest, the darkness of his pert nipples. When he thumbs over it all, Magnus seems to sigh with pleasure, his hot breath warming Taako’s ears and making him shiver, the pleasure building in his gut. _God, it’s been a while, _he thinks but does not say. 

_And this is different, _he thinks, keeping these thoughts to himself. _Has he ever felt this way before? Trusted? Trusting? _

Though he had wanted to pay attention to Magnus, Magnus is trying desperately to continue kissing him, and they do, hard and fast, bruising Taako’s lips with the force of it. He can feel the desperation in Magnus’ motions, the hardness of his erection still painfully obvious, and as their lips connect he brings a hand down to clutch at him through his pants, making Magnus gasp and look at Taako quizzically. “Here?” he asks, and Taako’s heart races. 

“Why not? No walkers,” he reminds Magnus, and he unbuckles the belt at Magnus’ gut, undoing his pants as he does so. When he does this, Magnus tugs at Taako’s shirt, too, and Taako peels it off, showing Magnus his own chest, slender and lithe. His big hands come to stroke at the expanse of it, his careful fingers rubbing over both of his nipples, making him jerk with pleasure and surprise. “Whoa there, big guy.” 

“What? I’m a hands-on learner,” Magnus jokes, but Taako can tell he’s breathless, his eyes wide and expression open. 

His hands coming down to Magnus’ jeans, he undoes them fully, tugging them down his muscular, tree-trunk legs until they hit the floor, and Magnus steps out of them. The only thing holding him back now is that god damned underwear, and Taako’s about ready to rip it off, but decides to give Magnus a show, dropping to his knees in front of him and looking up through dark eyelashes at the man above him. Magnus’ eyes are lidded with arousal, but he still looks curious, watching Taako intently. 

Carefully, Taako leans forward, and begins to kiss the bulge in Magnus’ underwear, the place that his cock strains against the fabric. He hears a strained groan from above him, can feel the hardness of the cock just millimeters from his tongue, and he slides his mouth along his length, feeling it firm up below his tongue. Magnus’ hands come to tangle in his hair, the messy, shoulder-length curls a lifeline for him. 

Taako’s lithe fingers come to the waistband of his briefs, toying with it before tugging them down, freeing Magnus’ cock, which comes to rest hot and red against the owner’s stomach, making Taako’s mouth water. He dives forward to wrap his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue around the head of his cock and giving it a sloppy kiss, and he connects his eyes with Magnus’ again, sees the strained, lustful expression over his features. 

Dipping his head lower, Taako takes more of him in his mouth, sucking and kissing and bobbing, trying to make the man above him feel good. It’s been a while since he’s done anything like this -- any form of intimacy is nearly taboo for him, much less the kind of sexual intimacy he’s demonstrating now, but he has to assume it is the same for Magnus, the groans and moans he is making loud and clear through the abandoned shop. He uses a nearby shelf as support to hold himself up, his knees shaky, and his eyes are trained on Taako, burning into his body. “Fuck, Taako,” he breathes out, his hand tightening in Taako’s hair. 

Coming off of Magnus’ cock and continuing to stroke it with one hand lazily, Taako gazes up at him headily. “Yeah? You like that?” he asks, and dips his head to kiss the head of Magnus’ cock again, tonguing the sensitive slit of it gently and making Magnus’ whole body jerk under his touch. 

“Yeah. Feels so good, please,” he makes out, and he’s not even sure what Magnus is asking for, but he wants to provide it, and he forces his head deeper, taking more of Magnus’ cock in his mouth, making his eyes water with the effort. He can feel the weight of it twitch in his mouth, and that makes him feel even more aroused, his legs clenching to try to find any relief for his own straining erection. “Oh, God, Taako, I--” 

Not taking any time to slow down, Taako continues to bob his head, following the pressure and pull of Magnus’ hand tangled in his hair, seeking out more breathy, low moans from Magnus as his reward. Under his hands, Magnus is shaking, his hips unsteady, bucking into the wet heat of Taako’s mouth. He feels Magnus’ thighs tense and un-tense, hears him babble words of complete nonsense, praising Taako and begging him for more, and it feels red-raw, too much and not enough, and he hears Magnus say “I love you, Taako--” and it’s broken and makes something inside of Taako break, the darkness he holds so close to his heart, the walls he built around himself to protect him from ever getting hurt the way he did before when he lost someone close, everything tumbling down as this burly man comes in his mouth, hot and sticky. He pulls off and lets the rest of it shoot onto his chest, some leaking down to stain his pants. 

Clumsily, he rises from his aching knees. His mouth tastes like cum, which isn’t ideal, but he collapses against Magnus anyway, allows the man to hold him as he’s still coming down from his high, Magnus’ skin hot and sweaty and familiar. Although he is panting and still shaking from his orgasm, Magnus arms come to wrap around Taako, holding him steady, and it feels more fulfilling than any meal, interaction, song he’s listened to, for years. To be held by Magnus is all he really needs, Taako thinks. 

Magnus is reaching for the own lump in his pants within the minute, which makes Taako laugh breathily. “So eager,” he comments, moving away from Magnus’ touch. “But let me just… find a cloth or something, to wipe the cum off of my pants. I only got one pair, you know,” he chides, and Magnus smiles a little embarrassed, looking down at his feet. It’s so cute that Taako can’t resist leaning up on his tiptoes to press a kiss to Magnus’ cheek, before he walks around the aisles to search for a cloth or towel. 

He can’t find anything within a minute of looking, but spots a countertop where the register lays, and thinks there may be something in that part of the room, a customer-service cleaning type rag, he thinks, and strides over to the counter, sliding over the top of it to get to the enclosed middle, and he feels it before he sees it, the walker, there. 

It’s a set of teeth on his ankle, a hand wrapping around his calf to keep him there, and he looks, horrified, at the sight on the floor below him. The zombie there is hardly a man at all, his body broken and contorted, and he is missing both legs and his jaw, his mouth hanging open with no anchor. But he bites Taako’s ankle with his top set of teeth, hungrily, maliciously, and with enough force to draw blood. With quick reflexes, Taako pulls his wand from its resting place on his hip to blast the zombie away, but as he’s about to, the walker’s head falls limp, a bullet piercing its forehead as the silenced gunshot rings through the room. The grip it had on Taako’s leg loosens immediately, and he scrambles away. 

Looking behind him, he sees Magnus standing, the gun held in front of him, unshaking. But his eyes are wide with surprise and horror as Taako sits up on the counter, extending his leg, and revealing the bloodied, reddened bite that marks his ankle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now we're just gonna add in a couple shots of angst *pours the whole bottle of angst into it*
> 
> if you comment i will bake u cookies : ) 
> 
> be friends with me on tumblr @ lucretiagf


	4. wasteland, baby! i'm in love with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The view from here is breathtaking: they’re not too far up, but far enough to see across the junkyard, a painfully beautiful display of evidence of the messy, apocalyptic world they live in. And above them is the sky-- never taking a moment to slow down in its beauty, some clouds floating like wisps over a colorful, orange-pink sunset. The temperature begins to chill, and Magnus throws an arm around Taako, helping to warm him. He’s still shivering. “It’s beautiful,” Magnus says softly, looking up at the display above them. “Thank you for showing me.” _Thank you for everything,_ he wants to say. _
> 
> Taako and Magnus' journey comes to an end.

Before Magnus knows what’s happening, Taako is crying. 

He’s a bit spooked, seeing the bite on his lover’s ankle, and because he’s seen hardly a fraction of emotion from Taako yet, he isn’t exactly sure how to handle it. 

Magnus rushes forward to where Taako sits, perched on the countertop, his leg outstretched, and he’s crying quietly, but Magnus can see the heaving sobs in his chest he’s not allowing himself to exhale. Immediately, he places his arms around Taako, setting the gun down on the counter next to them, and Taako feels broken in his arms, wheezing and babbling about cutting his leg off. 

Magnus just holds him, letting the tears fall to his shoulders, letting Taako yell at him for not checking as he should, for having sex in such a public place that would make them distracted and make something like this happen, lets him apologize quickly and earnestly with no words in exchange, holding him close. 

Once Taako has quieted, Magnus pulls back at bit, and rolls Taako’s pant leg up to look at the bite. Taako clears his throat. “We have to cut my leg off,” he insists again, his voice sounding a bit shaky but still with that Taako confidence, everpresent. 

“I obviously can’t make that decision for you, but I would have to do it, and I’ve never cut off someone’s leg before, and we only have two small knives,” Magnus points out, and Taako immediately glances away, looking somewhere else, and Magnus can see fresh tears welled in his eyes.

Looking at anywhere but Magnus’ face, he begins to sputter, “Magnus, y-” 

Interrupting him, because Magnus is positive if he tried to chop off Taako’s leg, he would kill him, he says, “we should clean it, right?” Magnus asks, and Taako nods quietly, his eyes red. Magnus crossed the room, redresses, and finds Taako’s pack on the floor, withdrawing his medical kit. 

In the pack, Taako only has gauze, bandages, a small package of painkillers, and neosporin, so they use some water with a strip of cloth to clean the bite (Magnus desperately wishes they had rubbing alcohol or some kind of cleansing agent) and then wrap it up with bandages. As Magnus does so, Taako complacent on the countertop, he knows in his heart there would be no way to keep him alive if they’d gone the ‘cutting the limb off’ approach, seeing how there’s barely enough bandages to completely dress Taako’s wound. Rolling his pant leg down to cover it, Magnus looks up at Taako’s face, trying to read his expression. 

He’s steeled, in the time that it took to wrap up his ankle, and he looks less sad now, he looks… determined, like he’s not accepting the bite that had just occurred. Clearing his throat, Magnus lets his hand linger on Taako’s leg, trying to comfort him. “Feeling okay?” he asks, softly. 

Taako nods, looking into the distance. “Sure. We should keep going.” 

And so they do, packing up their stuff and making sure to actually scout out the store, finding a good supply of food for them, as well as some more medical supplies and bandages to redress Taako’s wound in the future. Taako’s limping as they do so, not putting a lot of pressure on his leg, and Magnus can just see the tension in his face and his body as he walks around, clutching the sides of shelves to steady himself. Luckily, Magnus finds a display with a cylinder filled with umbrellas for sale, and takes one out to offer it to Taako as a cane. 

When he does so, handing the umbrella to Taako, he sees Taako’s face twist up, and Magnus retracts his hand for a moment. “Is there something wrong?” he asks worriedly. 

“No, no… Sorry. Thank you. It’s, uh, just that my sister always had an umbrella with her. Thank you, Magnus,” he says, avoiding Magnus’ eyes but seeming genuine in his words, and Magnus’ heart twists, thinking of his own sister. 

It’s still fresh in his mind, the way she looked hanging from that clothesline in town. She was so young. Why does he get to keep on living when she doesn’t? It’s not fair. But this new thing he had gained with Taako, learning to defend himself, learning to accept love in the way that Taako has given to him, has changed his life immensely in such a short time. But where does this bite factor into that? 

Taako’s going to die. He doesn’t look it now, and that’s partially because of how recent the bite is, but Magnus has seen this happen time and time again to people like Taako, people who live outside of walls. But he supposes nobody is safe in this world, regardless of if you stay in communities or not. He just always thought the scrounger life would be lonely, but he’s felt more alive and more human than he ever has the past two days with Taako. But what will Magnus do without him? He can’t lose Taako -- the words that tumbled out of his mouth when he came were not just spur of the moment but _true_, he loves the elf before him with everything in him, loves the way he slips on his headphones to his Walkman when he doesn’t feel like talking, loves the way he keeps his hair in braids, loves the way he is confident and snarky in everything. He doesn’t want to lose that - he can’t lose that, the way he feels about Taako. 

And in a more realistic sense, where will he go? He can’t go back to Phandalin, at least not by himself. He doesn’t feel confident in his lone-wanderer abilities, relying on Taako to kill most of the walkers they come across, to take the lead. His legs feel shaky as Taako and him prepare to leave the store, looking at the streets before them. There are a few stragglers, and Taako hands him a knife, arming himself with the other one as well as his wand. Already, he looks tired, resting with the umbrella as a cane, slumping a bit against the wall. He looks up at Magnus, and Magnus is surprised to see his eyes, looking tired and worn-down. “Ready?” he asks. 

Magnus is ready, sure, but he doesn’t know that Taako is. “Where are we going?” he asks, tentatively. Taako’s brow furrows. 

“Our plan wasn’t just coming to this store -- there are tons of abandoned shops on this street here we can look through. It’d be a waste if we didn’t,” he persists, that constant abrasiveness and confidence comforting Magnus, familiar to him. 

Stepping forward a bit, Magnus nods, and leans down, his face just a couple inches from Taako’s face. Before him, the elf is wearing a stunned expression, their lips almost brushing. For courtesy, Magnus asks, “Can I kiss you?” 

Taako’s nodding quickly, so Magnus dips and connects their lips, easily. Taako kisses back with some kind of desperation that makes Magnus’ heart feels like it’s dropping to his stomach, and then he pulls back, his hands still on Magnus’ face, keeping him in place. Their eyes connect and it’s making Magnus want to cry to see Taako like this, bare and vulnerable and scared. “I…” he starts, and then pauses, stopping himself, before opening his mouth again. “I love you, too,” he says simply. 

He just brings Taako to his chest, hugging him tightly, and the elf seems to immediately collapse into it, hugging Magnus back, and he’s quiet, not crying anymore, but he’s colder than usual, and that worries Magnus, the back of his head screaming at him to get Taako to a medic. But there isn’t much to do, and he thinks both him and Taako know that. 

Seeming to read his mind, Taako laughs, but it’s dry, constructed. “Listen, Maggie, I couldn’t turn if I tried. I’m, like, the opposite of a walker,” he jokes, and Magnus laughs along with him, but his heart is heavy. 

They go into one shop. And then another. Taako’s bite just seems to make him even more ballsy, and he is unafraid diving into the stores and shops, blasting zombies with Magic Missiles and flames. Magnus even takes the lead on some of them, kicking doors down with his strong legs and using the pistol and blade to take down any resident walkers. They have a fairly good haul already, Taako’s pack fairly weighed down, but as they start walking to the last shop, Taako stumbles, falling hard onto the pavement. He yells out when he does, and Magnus immediately scrambles to help him up. 

He’s gasping in pain, and when Magnus asks why he fell, his face seems to twist, in frustration. “I… I don’t know. I just felt… unsteady,” he replies, using Magnus’ broad frame to steady himself and stand. 

Automatically, and because it’s been on his mind for the whole time they scavenged, Magnus suggests, “we should go to a compound. Maybe back to Leilon? I think you should see a medic.” 

Almost immediately, Taako is shaking his head in denial, even laughing at Magnus’ suggestion. “No compounds. I don’t want to die like a dog in a cage,” he says, and it sounds like he meant to be malicious, but it comes out soft, his voice breaking in the middle. 

Instead, they walk to one of Taako’s safe spots, a corner of the junkyard they practiced in earlier that day. It's just a little fenced-in area with some walls and even a roof, decorated shabbily but nicely. He has scavenged, presumably from this very junkyard: a small bed, a wooden chair, and there’s a shelf in the corner of the room, holding things - things that are not valuable or useful enough to take with him, but things that Taako treasures. On that shelf, there is a framed picture of Taako and someone else-- Magnus can only guess it is Lup, a picture from before the outbreak. They look so young and so beautiful and so similar, Magnus could almost swear it was two Taakos, but in the picture, Lup has an undercut, and her hair is red at the end. She looks fiery, just as fiery as Taako’s personality is. 

When they arrive at this place, Taako almost immediately collapses on the edge of the bed, and he looks feverish, his hands shaking as he stares at the ground below them. The sun is setting, and the “door," a part of the wall that opens as a gate, is open, showing the orange sky above them. “You feeling okay?” Magnus asks, sitting down gingerly on the bed next to Taako, putting a hand on his shoulder in comfort. 

Taako nods, looking at his hands, and then looking at Magnus. His face is blank, unmoving. “Let me show you something,” he says, and stands up with the help of the umbrella he’s been using as a cane. Magnus steadies him, a hand around his waist. He gestures to a little ladder that leads to a trapdoor in this shelter’s roof, and Magnus looks at him quizzically. “I’m gonna need a little of your help to lift me up there, but you’re a big guy. You won’t die.” 

So they climb to the roof through Taako’s little handmade opening, Magnus lifting Taako easily above him and supporting him as they climb. When they reach the top, Taako sits on the roof, gesturing for Magnus to sit next to him. 

The view from here is breathtaking: they’re not too far up, but far enough to see across the junkyard, a painfully beautiful display of evidence of the messy, apocalyptic world they live in. And above them is the sky-- never taking a moment to slow down in its beauty, some clouds floating like wisps over a colorful, orange-pink sunset. The temperature begins to chill, and Magnus throws an arm around Taako, helping to warm him. He’s still shivering. 

“It’s beautiful,” Magnus says softly, looking up at the display above them. “Thank you for showing me.” 

_Thank you for everything,_ he wants to say. 

They are quiet for a moment. “I… I want to kiss you while I still can,” Taako gets out, and now Magnus feels like crying, but he shifts his head, leaning forward to kiss Taako. He feels different, less panicked and desperate than before, but his body has a chill about him that is almost eerie, his lips colder than Magnus remembers them being. Still, it’s Taako, his tongue fast and lips careful, and Magnus smiles sadly into the kiss, wondering which one will be their last. 

When Magnus pulls back, he takes a minute to look at Taako’s appearance. They don’t have long. Turning doesn’t take more than a day, usually less, and Taako is small, the disease spreading quickly in his body, his words quiet, his movements slow. Every ten minutes he goes dizzy, having a hot flash and his vision going white before he gains clarity again. It freaks Magnus out, but the alternative freaks him out even more. 

When the sky goes dark, they carefully drop back into Taako’s shelter, Taako sitting on the bed again, and he holds his pack in his lap, and Magnus’ stomach turns over, feeling out-of-depth and nervous. Taako clears his throat. “You know how much I hate walkers, right, Magnus?” he asks, his speech slow. 

Magnus nods. “Yeah, sure.” 

“Well… I don’t want to turn, when I go. I can’t become one of them.” 

His stomach knotting, Magnus nods again. He can feel tears start to fill his eyes. 

“Magnus, would you do me the honor of…” but Magnus is already sobbing, his eyes wet and hot, and he’s grabbing for Taako’s hand. It’s still Taako’s hand, but the comfort is almost gone -- they are cold like ice, and although Taako smiles at him, he feels like he’s the one dying, not the elf in front of him. Taako reaches out and brushes a tear from his cheek. It’s gentle, loving. “No, no, no, none of that. Would you please do the honor of taking care of me? Making me… not turn?” 

He’s not an idiot. He knows what Taako’s asking. He’s been thinking about it all day, and it has eclipsed, slapping him in the face. "I can't," he says, finally voicing how he feels, the pent up emotions inside of him. "I can't do this without you, Taako." 

But Taako is not having it. He looks at Magnus, confident, their eyes connecting. Taako's hands are on his shoulders, keeping him there. "Yes you can. I know you can. And you have to. For me. For Rose. For Lup. You've gotta go on."

He nods, tears almost overtaking him again, but he feels like a little kid, wanting to just shrug off the responsibility, wanting to crawl into this bed and weep. 

Taako gives him his pack, still filled with the items they found today, and still with Taako’s weapons and supplies in it. When Magnus withdraws the pistol from the bag, he starts to give Taako back his bag, but Taako pushes it towards him. “You keep it. It will help you,” he insists, and Magnus nods, stowing the bag at his feet. 

Looking at the elf on the bed in front of him, Magnus feels a pang in his chest again. He has stopped crying, but just barely, and he does not know how Taako is so calm in front of him, so confident in the face of death. One last time, Magnus dips down, his face just close to Taako, and kisses him, sweet and simple, everything Magnus wishes their life could be together. 

He lifts the pistol, just like Taako had shown him, aiming at the space on his forehead between his eyes. Taako’s eyes are open, looking at him, and he’s looking at Magnus with so much fearlessness and love that it makes Magnus want to be fearless, too. And he does it, pulling the trigger and watching Taako fall limp in front of him. 

There are no tools to dig a grave, what Magnus thinks Taako deserves, but after wandering for a while in the dark junkyard, he finds a metal box just large enough for an elf to fit in, and lifts him into the box, closing it behind him. 

Returning to the small shelter, Magnus collects his and Taako’s things. On a final thought, he grabs the picture of Taako and Lup from the nearby shelf, stowing it away. He slips on Taako’s headphones, and walks out of the junkyard, into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and finishing this fic! i know i was gonna post yesterday but i just moved back into college and i was SUPER swamped yesterday, so thanks for your patience!
> 
> i had a lovely time writing my own take on an apocalypse, because i love apocalypse stuff! and i hope you enjoyed as well!
> 
> comment if u bad or sad
> 
> tumblr @lucretiagf !

**Author's Note:**

> yay i am so excited to be starting another longer taagnus fic!!!! this is probably my most ambitious fic yet but have planned out what the plot will be and how it will end so :') we'll see!!!
> 
> please comment! comments really keep me going and motivate me to write!
> 
> find me on tumblr @lucretiagf : )


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